Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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