he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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