doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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