did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
