So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
