Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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