Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
