And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
