Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
