how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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