from now on my penis is your penis
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
