so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
