your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
