are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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