O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
