I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
