i came on her dog
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
