Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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