I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
