I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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