I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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