I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
