He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
