Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
