I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
