Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
