i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
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