The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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