Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
