do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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