We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
