so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
