I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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