one two three fourrrrnication!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
