Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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