Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
