It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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