best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
