im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
