there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I would ride that face into the sunset
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