ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i barfeds in our rink
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
