I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
