She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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