everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize