I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
