just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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