oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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