oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
