bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
