he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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