Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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