Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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(530): View more from California

He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Tiny.

(402): View more from Nebraska

I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.

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(406): View more from Montana

I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family

(202): View more from Washington, DC

In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?

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