Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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