i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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