im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is it because I queefed?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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