OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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