from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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