i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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